My therapeutic work with couples begins with the premise that within a relationship, intractable issues stem from the activation of primary relational fears. Fears, such as of abandonment, rejection, helplessness, or domination, when left unresolved become obscured by emotions of anger, apathy, resentment, or disappointment and couples lose touch with their original love connection. Arguments cycle around endlessly, seeming unsolvable because only once the deeper source of conflict is addressed can they be resolved.
Through a collaborative process, couples therapy will create a forum for each partner to be heard and understood. Rigid interactional patterns will be broken down and the underlying source of distress illuminated. Couples will develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their needs as well as those of their partner, and will be given skills to rebuild a more solid foundation of understanding, intimacy, communication, and trust.